


Dear Future Me

by magiteks



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Character Death, Future letters, Hurt, M/M, Sad, Suicide, Vague Description of Suicide, basically im really sorry for this, no comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 10:07:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14078559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magiteks/pseuds/magiteks
Summary: Every time he calls out or tries to phone them, he’s met by silence and the silence is soon becoming his friend. Though he laughs briefly, knowing they’ll be coming home any day now from a business trip and they’ll all have dinner again.He pushes his hair out of his face and yawns briefly, going to eat another cookie.Time passes and he has to learn to live with it.





	Dear Future Me

“So...how do I start this off?” Prompto hums as his fingers hover over his keyboard. He looks to the side and grabs a his juice carton, takes a sip before typing.

_‘Hi Prompto from the future!!! ^_^ I hope youre super duper happy and well! <3 its me from the past, im 12 and three quarters! isnt it cool that youre going to be reading this when you’re old and 22!…” _

Prompto grins to himself as he continues to write, laughing at a couple things and taking sips of his drink continuously. Thoughts run through his head like some on a treadmill, so many ideas he wants to write down.

_‘I hope youre happy nd healthy 2!! and that ur dating noct - cause right now i have a big crush but idk what to do. i hope u have figured that out! right now im drinking a grape juicebox and some cookies i brought on the way back from school!! we were learning about future letters in class and i really really wanted to do it! so here it is….im not sure what else 2 write??? oh!! life goals ^_^!’_

Sticking out his tongue, he continues to write, humming softly and changing the song he’s playing on his old iPod, lent to him from his dad - who hadn't asked for it back yet. He's content, excited to tell his best friend about this idea.

_‘I hope u have cool piercings...like a nose one! one of the people in the class above me has one!! although they got in trouble, woops...but hopefully u know, u wont get in trouble!! also right now i really really REALLY want a tattoo! mom said i couldnt till i was 18….also her fave flowers were forget me nots and i really want one cus they mean missing someone and i miss them a lot. i hope they are back home by now...i havent seen them in a couple weeks but im getting some postcards…’_

Prompto stops as he looks above at the postcards hanging by crocodile clips from some string. He looks at the ones from Altissia and around Eos. He wishes he could go with them and explore the world, he doesn’t like how he can’t be with them. Every time he calls out or tries to phone them, he’s met by silence and the silence is soon becoming his friend. Though he laughs briefly, knowing they’ll be coming home any day now from a business trip and they’ll all have dinner again.  
He pushes his hair out of his face and yawns briefly, going to eat another cookie.  
Time passes and he has to learn to live with it.

_‘I think im pretty much done here??? i really dont know what else to put other than i hope u get a dog like tiny in the future...and ur doing well, and ur happy! and i hope u have a super duper cool life!  
This is 12 (and 3/4s!!!!!!) year old prompto signing off!!! love you lots future me ^_^!! i hope thats not weird to say hehe.’_

The young blonde stretches as he signs off his letter and presses confirm.  
“In 10 years, you’ll be in my inbox!” He grins, eventually getting up and going to put his plate in the kitchen.

* * *

The next couple weeks are filled with a new determination in the blonde to make a closer friendship with Noct.  
By the time he’s 14, he and Noct are dating and Prom’s so, so happy. Noct is his best friend, spending every day together in school and out of it. It makes Prom happy, not having to be home, where his parents arent and where the floorboards are cold.  
The next couple years are filled with tears. Tears and loneliness of the lack of parental guidance and the feeling of loss.  
Noct’s still with him, he promises he’s so in love with the blonde who sat across from him in science. They’re 16 now.

At 18, Prompto is sitting with his boyfriend in a dark tattoo studio, arm outstretched as he looks up at Noct.  
“It ain’t gunna hurt that bad - you look more worried than me!” Prompto laughs, Noct squeezing his hand in response.  
“Maybe I am.” Noct looks away, pouting just a little before he turns back and smiles.  
“You’ve been going on about this for months...forget me nots right? Pretty and small. You gunna send a picture to your mom after?” He asks, squeezing his hand as he feels Prompto wince briefly and close his eyes, trying to regulate his breathing.  
The tattoo artist looks up and nods a little to Noct, letting him know to continue talking.

“Uh-huh...probably. I wanted to show her in person but-” He winces again, gasping a little as he takes in another sharp breath. His chest rises and falls in rhythm, trying not to squirm on the table.  
“But she ain’t been home for a while. Neither has dad, actually...they said they missed me last time they were home. That seems to happen a lot but I still get postcards! Maybe I’ll send a picture on my phone…” He looks up and smiles, blue eyes glistening a little with slight tears. He laughs briefly, looking up and just watching Noct.  
“It’s whatever, ‘m used to it! Maybe you can come over tonight?” Prom asks hopefully as his arm begins to numb softly.  
They chat idly, Prompto getting through the pain. Eventually, he’s done, standing up and looking at the tattoo.  
“Oh wow…” He hums softly, looking at the small petals, a couple falling as he smiles.  
“..That’s real pretty. Thank you so much.” He smiles, looking up at the artist before he’s taken over and his arm wrapped in plastic.  
After they’ve paid and have been told what they need to do to look after the tattoo, they head out of the shop.  
“What’s next on the agenda then, lovely?” Noct asks, laughing so softly at the gentle blush now on Promptos cheeks.  
“I’m thinking a nose piercing…” He grins, going to grab his phone to look at maps.

Nose piercing done, Prompto is now more ‘punk’ than he’s ever looked, especially wearing one of Noct’s behemoth type jackets. He feels attractive, he feels happy.  
“You gunna come over then?” He asks, smiling when Noct nods and leans in to kiss him as they walk, eventually pushing Prompto to the wall behind him, being careful as they kiss not to bump his nose, sighing softly before he opens his eyes and looks at the blonde.  
“Sure babe, let’s head back.” 

Just like Prompto’s letter to himself, he unknowingly does the things he dreamt of when he was twelve. However, his parents don’t come home anymore.  
He doesn’t really realise it but he’s slowly getting worse. His sleeping has gotten worse to the point where he has constant eye bags and his eating being forgotten.  
Noct stays the night, of course there’s kissing, movies and all that and Prompto is happy for a moment, for a second in time he’s so happy.  
When Noct leaves in the morning, he kisses Promptos forehead as he stands on the doorstep.  
“I’ll see you later, angel. Text me, yeah? And please try ‘nd sleep alright?” He smiles, almost a little sadly. He knows not everything is peachy but Prompto won’t let him in to it.  
Prom nods, forcing a smile as he goes to kiss his cheek.  
“I love you!”  
“I love you too”

Prom heads back inside his house, sighing as he leans against the door. He rubs his eyes, choking back tears as he realises he’s completely alone again. He almost stumbles past the unused dining room, up the stairs and past his parents room. He pauses briefly, noticing the door handle had dust gathering now - he hasn't opened it since they up and left, scared to see what was behind that door, see what memories lay dormant, unseen and untouched by the world for so many years now. He laughs softly, mostly out of trying not to cry, before he continues to walk. ‘They’ll come home…’ He thinks, heading back into his room and just curling up under his duvet, cold still as he shivers. His blinds are closed, room completely dark and he just begins to cry. He’s alone, he’s scared and the silence is now his only friend. With an aching chest and a heart finding it hard to continue, Prom lays there under the shelter and safety of his bed covers and lets himself crumble down in peace.

Weeks pass, his feelings don’t change. His body aches from the sporadic meals, from the considerable weight loss. The eyebags stay now and jumpers are more often worn than not. Noct still visits, but Prom scrubs up for that, he makes himself look presentable. He has to.  
Weeks change to months, which blur into one, long, sleep. Prompto takes naps during the stays and is unable to sleep for days upon days. He ends up crying himself to sleep for most of them, pulling at his hair, tugging so the hairs are free of his scalp and staring at his computer screen at 3 am, trying to relay what happened that day, who he is. Why he’s here. He can't remember him, his life's purpose. He can't remember his mothers eyes, her voice, his fathers warmth. He can't remember what it's like to feel happy. To feel whole.

In amidst the uncertainty of himself, Prompto's phone screen lights up which causes him to turn. Messenger alerts him of a message from Noct - the time's just past half four. Wondering why the other is up, Prompto goes to answer the message, his head aching and throbbing with the stress and overwhelming anxiety.

 _[4:32 am. Noct:]_ Babe, I’m worried about you. We haven’t spoken in a couple days...  
_[4:32 am. Prom:]_ Aaaaah, no don’t be, I’m sorry! Works, been stupid busy recently.  
_[4:32 am. Noct:]_ You haven’t slept yet - your messenger hasn’t turned off...go to bed, lovely, please? And message me in the morning? I love you. Let’s go out for coffee when you’re up? I’ll come pick you up ♡  
_[4:37 am. Prom:]_ Oh, yeah. I’ll try. You ain’t gotta be worried! Just really into this series aha. Coffee sounds good, though I may be a little tired. Honestly, I’ll be dead to the world later when I get into bed! Let’s make it the afternoon? I love you so much ♡♡♡!!  
_[4:37 am. Noct:]_ Afternoon works with me. Love of my life, sunshine, try and get some rest for me now. ♡♡♡

Prompto stares at the messages, relaying them before he just sobs more, banging his hands on his oak desk, the vibrations causing a few things to fall.  
His home isn’t his home anymore, his home is a place full of abandonment, of stories left unread and blades rusted on bathroom sinks. He can’t stand the fact his parents never call, they never see him. He hasn’t seen them for years. He thinks they’re dead, he thinks maybe he should be too.

At 22, he’s a boy so broken he can’t remember when he last laughed at something that wasn’t himself, that he looked in the mirror and hated who he became. He hates how he can’t count how many sleepless nights he’s had anymore, how many meals he’s skipped, how many times he’s had to cancel on going out because he can’t bring himself to get up.  
He hates the scars on his chest, the ones Noct paid for, that were supposed to make him happy, to feel himself  
He hates how he is, now and forever.

It’s now 8 am on the 22nd of July.  
Prompto has his phone in his hand, staring at it. He hasn’t slept. 

_[8:14 am. Prom:]_ Hey, Noct  
_[8:14 am. Prom:]_ I know you're not awake yet, hah. You literally never wake up before noon…I guess that’s why coffee works best in the afternoon.  
_[8:14 am. Prom:]_ I hope you’re sleeping well

He stares at the screen as tears begin to fall, trembling softly.

 _[8:15 am. Prom:]_ You know how much I love you right?  
_[8:15 am. Prom:]_ I love you to the moon and back  
_[8:15 am. Prom:]_ I love you more than the galaxy, more than any picture I’ve ever taken  
_[8:16 am. Prom:]_ Sorry  
_[8:16 am. Prom:]_ For this  
_[8:17 am. Prom:]_ For everything  
_[8:17 am. Prom:]_ Thank you for loving me, yknow?  
_[8:17 am. Prom:]_ God, remember when you asked me out, hahaha  
_[8:18 am. Prom:]_ We were so cute...

His fingers become numb as he continues to type

 _[8:19 am. Prom:]_ I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. You’re my home. You don't make me feel worthless.

The phone leaves his fingers and is chucked behind him, landing on the duvet with a soft ‘flump’.  
The birds tweet outside the window as the world wakes up, the rays of sunshine leaving sun patches over the doorway where Prompto now stands, fumbling with something.  
A heart so broken, it can hardly function. A head so full of troubles, it scares the owner to delve in and think. The sun casts shadows too, showing a figure in the doorway and a chair kicked away beside it. Long, fragile, thin. Alone. Swaying softly, the shadow of a rope above the bodies head.

The phone buzzes softly, an alert from a phone, discarded on an unmade bed, surrounded by tear stained pillow covers.

_[Your Future Letter!:] Your letter is in! View it now: “Hi Prompto from the future!!! ^_^ I hope youre super duper happy and well! <3 its me from the past, im 12 and thre…”_

**Author's Note:**

> im.......really sorry lmao  
> twitter: transprompto  
> i do writing commissions! https://ko-fi.com/prompto


End file.
